Resident Evil 4 : The Hidden Endings
by Asellus
Summary: Have you ever wondered, What if Leon was gay? Or What if Ada died, again? Well I did, and now you will know. Warning This might contain some spoilers!
1. The Bad Ending

Resident Evil 4 : The Hidden Endings

The Bad Ending

The air was damp and you could see that dawn was on its way.

"Ashley, stay here." Leon told her as he stepped on the elevator. "I have to do this my self."

Ashley nodded as the elevator crept up, "Do your best!" She waved.

Leon snickered, "Don't I always?"

Then finally he was out of her sight. But he could still see her. He took out his semi-automatic rifle as he lay on the wet gritty metal of the platform, his scope carefully aimed at Ashley.

'Yes, I'll do my best." He thought.

Then he shot her, dead center of her forehead. She fell instantly.

Leon calmly got up he was laughing to himself when he saw Ada Wong hanging from a rope tided around her body.

"Ada!" He yelled.

Saddler walked out from the shadows, Leon glanced at him then quickly took out his knife and threw it at Ada. The knife hit her through the ear; she died as quickly as Ashley.

"Oh crap, I missed." Leon muttered.

Saddler started clapping, "Good show Leon! Thanks to you my sample is safe!"

"Well I work for the best man in the world." Leon smiled.

"Now," Saddler said as he put his arm around Leon, "Let's get back to the plan."

THE END!


	2. The ULTRA Happy Ending

The ULTRA Happy Ending

"Wait here." Leon said with out any thought of turning around and killing her.

"Take Care!" Ashley said.

Leon got on the elevator and waved happily at Ashley. She smiled.

When the elevator reached the top Leon stepped on the platform and saw Ada Wong hanging from a rope tide around her neck.

"ADA!" Leon yelled.

Saddler walked from the shadows laughing.

"Saddler, You Bastard!" Howled Leon.

"Oh I'm sorry Leon did I kill your girlfriend?"

"No he didn't!" Came a female voice out of no where.

Then jumping down from a large crate was Claire Redfield.

"Claire! How'd you get here?" Leon gasped.

Claire smiled, "I have ways."

Claire then took the rocket launcher that was resting on her back. "Eat this Saddler!" She shouted.

"Wait!" Saddler said as he desperately tried to get in his crab form.

But all his efforts were a waste when Claire fired at him. On contact Saddler was turned into barbequed crab, the force from the rocket launcher threw Claire back into Leon, he grabbed a hold of her. The hold soon turned into an embrace.

"Claire where have you been all these six years?"

"I'm sorry Leon, you weren't in any games! And I was in Code: Veronica."

Claire threw down the empty rocket launcher and gave Leon a real full hug. Leon felt if he found that something that has been missing inside of him.

They stood back from each other, Leon saw the sample at his feet.

"I think I should get rid of this whole mess." He said as he picked it up.

Claire and Leon walked to the edge of the platform towards the sea, the sun was peaking over the waves, Leon threw the sample into the body of water.

"Well I got to take Ashley back." Leon said after a moment of silence.

"We can ride in my helicopter!" Claire smiled.

"But how?" Leon started, "Never mind."

He took a hold of the smiling girl and kissed her passionately.

THE END


	3. Merchant Ending

Merchant Ending

Leon and Ashley walked out onto the rock painfully, still feeling the shock from having the parasite taken out of them. They could see the Merchant humped over solemnly. Leon never asked Merchant any questions other than then the ones about the merchandise that he sells. But he always wondered how he always seems one step ahead of Leon or how he never gets hurt. Or about the freaking bottle caps, you can't sell them… So what's the point? Really. And the one question that really bothered Leon was-

"I've got a selection of good things on sale, stranger." Bellowed Merchant as he swung open his trench coat.

"How the hell do you fit all that shit in there?" Leon blurted out.

"What?" Asked Merchant.

"I mean, here _I_ am carrying this tiny attaché case that can barely fit my weapons alone in it, and here _you_ are popping everywhere stocked like some bakery!"

"Leon." Ashley said silently.

"You really want to know, Stranger?" The merchant said.

"Yes."

The Merchant laughed in his Merchant way, "I've got a lot of pockets."

"AH COME ON!" Leon shouted. "That's not it, I'm sure that rocker launcher is not going fit in _some_ pocket in that coat!"

"They're large pockets, stranger." The Merchant said patiently.

"Can I buy your coat then?"

"No!"

Leon huffed, "Fine have it your way. Could you watch Ashley as I go beat the shit out of Saddler? … I have a score to settle." Images of the burning helicopter filled Leon's head.

"Sure, stranger."

"Thanks!" Leon waved, "Be back soon Ashley."

"Leon?" Ashley whimpered as he walked away.

Soon it was just Ashley and Merchant. There was a long silence between the two. After a while the Merchant started walking away.

"W-Wait! Were you going?" Asked Ashley.

Merchant waved his hand as in for her to follow him… So she did. He picked up the blue torch and went to a large mound, he pulled at the mound and soon it uncovered a large dirty truck. He set the torch in the back, and Ashley noticed that there was a bunch of typewrites in the back as well with other crazy stuff.

"Let's go." Merchant said as he opened the drivers' side door.

"What about Leon?" Asked Ashley.

"Forget about that stranger, I can take you home. I've got a boat just to the east of here."

"Oh, Okay." She said.

She got in to the other side of the truck and they drove off, and as well as he said it. There was a boat to the east and the merchant kept his word and he did take Ashley home becoming a national hero. And soon there were merchant shops across the country. They became more popular then Target. This made the Merchant extremely rich. He became good friends with Ashley as they kept in contact for years to come. Not soon after, Merchant got married to some lucky broad and had three children.

As for Leon, after he defeated Saddler, and Ada set the island to explode, he came back and saw that Ashley and the Merchant was gone. He didn't think too much of it and went on his own way off the island. We'll be soon hear about him on the VH1 "Where are they now?" show.

THE END


	4. The Ending You Know Will Never Happen

The Ending You Know That Will Never Happen

Leon stepped off the elevator and on to the platform; there he saw Ada's mutilated body hanging from a thin string.

"Oh, god…" Muttered Leon.

Saddler emerged from the shadows, laughing.

"Ah Leon, I'm surprised that you got this far…"

Even though Ada Wong's body was dangling for the world to see, Leon couldn't help but notice Saddlers striking features. He had never seen him up this close before, it was amazing. Saddlers' broad mouth, his large nose. The way his forehead crinkled up when he laughed. Leon never felt this way about any man before. You could almost call it… Love.

"Um, I think you were supposed to say a witty come back." Saddler amused himself.

Just then Leon dropped all his weapons and started approaching Saddler. Saddler, confused, started back away.

"Is it hot out here, or what?" Leon said as he stripped his vest off, then his shirt.

"Are you kidding it's like… forty degrees out here-"

But Saddler stopped talking when he saw the rippling chest of Leon.

"Oh my." He murmured.

"Let's not fight," Leon said as he wrapped his arms around Saddler, "I'm sure what you did was all for the right reasons."

Saddlers cheeks burst into a hot red color, "We don't have to fight then."

Leon trusted his lips on Saddler and they began making out like nothing you've seen in "Cruel Intentions".

That night Leon went to Saddlers pad, leaving Ashley behind. Ashley waited at the spot until Leon came back for her the afternoon of the next day.

"Leon, what happened to you?" She asked.

Leon sighed, "Something, _wonderful_."

"Oh?"

"Look, I'll take you home right now."

On the Jet Ski ride back Ashley leaned close to Leons' ear and asked, "Would you like to do some… Overtime?"

"Look babe, I can't. If I get back too late Saddy-bear is going to worry."

Ashley was too stunned to say anything back, she was just glad to be heading home.

THE END


	5. The Shocking Ending

The Shocking Ending

The air was damp and you could see that dawn was on it's way.

"Ashley, stay here." Leon told her as he stepped on the elevator. "I have to do this my self."

Ashley nodded, "Do your best!" She waved.

BAM!

Suddenly a dark body shot down and hit Leon with such a force it sent him flying off the elevator. In mid-air he flipped his body so he could land on his feet by Ashley. There standing ominously was Wesker, slicked back hair, sunglasses and all. Leon had never actually met this fellow himself, but heard enough about him to know a Wesker when he sees one.

"Couldn't you have just waited till I was at the top?" Complained Leon.

Wesker laughed his Wesker way, "I just thought I'd stop by and retrieve the sample my self, knowing Ada she probably would have slept with the whole island before she got it."

"That is true." Agreed Leon, "Anyway, Where have you been hiding all these years? I know a lot of people out for your blood."

"I have hiding under a false I.D. for all these years, smart right. You've might of known me, I was Lance from NSYNC." Wesker said with pride as he put his hands on his hips.

"Really?" Said Ashley.

"Yep."

Leon chocked, "I'm your biggest fan! Why is fate so twisted?"

"We all learn to deal with it, I say now, I must be going." Wesker said as he jumped and flew to the top of the platform.

"Wait! I have to stop you!" Leon called after.

He rode the elevator up and saw Wesker on the ground surrounded by a pool of blood. Towering over the body was-

"Barry?" Leon asked.

Another man Leon never met in person but talked to him online about Umbrella.

Barry was holding a Killer 7 in his hand and in the other was the sample.

"Good! You got the sample!" Leon said excitedly.

Barry was breathing heavily, "I'm sick of it Leon, sick of it all. The world. Umbrella. Fucking Wesker."

"Wa-What?"

"With this," He raised the sample, "I could make the world a better place, I'm tired. Tired of fighting. "

"Barry we all are tired, but the fight isn't over yet. We can make it." Leon tried to talk him out of what he planned.

"Heh, I'm not eating any of that shit. It's over." He trained his gun on Leon.

"Wait! Barr-"

BAM!

Leon crashed on the ground as blood poured down his face.

Barry grunted and holstered his weapon, in the air above him hovered down a helicopter, the pilot, Jill. Barry put the sample in his pocket and climbed into the helicopter.

"Sorry Jill I couldn't save him." He lied.

"Oh, Poor Leon!" She gasped. "Did you destroy the sample?"

"Oh course I did."

Jill nodded, and flew off away back to the hidden S.T.A.R.S base.

"Leon?" Ashley called out, "Leon?"

Then the island exploded.

THE END


	6. A Conversation Between Leon and Ashley

A Conversation Between Ashley and Leon

Okay, you all know the part where Leon and Ashley ride the seat thing(rollercoaster type thing)? Right, anyway. This is what they talked about.

"Leon you seem awfully quiet. What's the matter?" Ashley asked.

Her voice knocked Leon out of his concentration, "Oh I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"This morning, I had a bowl of cereal. It was Golden Puffs, you know the ones made by Malt-o-Meal? Oh of course you don't know, you've probably never had a bowl of cereal in your whole life. Well the Golden Puffs are served in a plastic bag, those small puffy wheat things, served in a bag! As I was pouring my bowl, the bag bent and as soon as I know it, there was Golden Puffs everywhere! My whole kitchen and me! What were they thinking, putting the lightest puffiest cereal in a bag! Please, that's just bad marketing."

Ashley was silent, "That's what you were thinking about?"

"I had to clean everything up!"

"I see." Ashley looked off, "Oh look we're here."

End of Conversation


	7. The Zombie Ending

The Zombie Ending

Before Leon could open the door to the outside of the faculty Ashley grabbed his shoulder.

"Wait." She said.

Leon turned to face her, "What?"

"None of it makes sense to me, Why does Saddler want me?"

Leon sighed, "Well, they wanted to take over you with the parasite, ship you back home only for you to be the puppet of Saddler and cause havoc in the capital." He rubbed her slightly on the arm, "But you don't have to worry about it anymore, The parasite is gone, and I'm taking you home."

Ashley felt a little relived, "Thanks Leon." She went up to the door and opened it, "Let's get this over with."

That's when a hand grabbed her, she screamed. Behind the door wasn't a bunch of parasite ridden Spaniards, but the walking dead. Leon watched helplessly as the zombie brought Ashley to its mouth and took a chunk out of her neck.

"LEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN HELP!" She screamed.

It all had happened too fast but Leon was able to snap into action, using his Punisher, he popped each surrounding zombie in the head. Ashley fell to the ground, Leon crouched down and pushed her to his side of the door, then slammed it shut. He glanced at Ashley, her wound was bleeding profusely but luckily wasn't that deep. He holster his gun and took the rocket launcher that was resting on his back. He was saving it for Saddler, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Still kneeling, he leaned to the side and kicked open the door, Zombies were everywhere, where'd they come from? With out much further thought Leon aimed for the core of the zombie mass and fired. The force of the explosion forced the door closed, again. Leon threw the empty launcher to the side, he stood up and checked the outside. The ground was covered in remnants of the dead, Leon sighed when he saw no sign of non-living movement. He went back into to the lying body of Ashley, her breathing was shallow. He took the sweater from around her shoulders, and then with his knife ripped it into a long strip. Lifting Ashley slightly, leaning her against the wall he wrapped the cloth tightly around the wound. Ashley groaned registering the pain. Although he dressed her wounds he knew there was almost no chance of her survival, she possibly could survive the wound, but the virus was now flowing through her veins. Who knows how long before she becomes, _one of them_.

Leon then remembered that he did pass through a lab, maybe he was hoping too much, but there may be something there to help her. So he carefully lifted Ashley on his back, giving her a piggyback ride. He moved quickly back to the lab, he set her on a ledge so he could look more thoroughly. Leon scanned the walls looking for anything that indicated that there was a vaccine. There had to be, if zombies were on this island, then there will be a cure.

"LEON!" Screamed Ashley.

Leon turned only to see the words gurgle out of her mouth as a Zombie ripped her vocal cords out.

"God…" Leon shuttered.

He shot the zombie in the head, and the few others that straggled in the room.

"How the hell'd they get in here with out me hearing it?" Leon thought.

It was too late to be thinking about his mistakes now, there was nothing that he could do. Ashley was dead. He failed his mission and failed to save an innocent life.

Leon remembered what Krauser carelessly slipped out earlier, "Umbrella."

He knew now his real enemy in the matter, that stupid corporation that destroyed Raccoon city.

Leo herd the groan of zombies approaching.

"First things first, I've gotta blow this rock."

He ran out the building, past the zombie bits and up the elevator to where he was supposed to run into Saddler. Instead, Saddler wasn't there, it was Ada.

"Leon, there are zombies in here." She said.

"I know."

"The best solution is to get ride of the problem entirely." She pressed a button, "You better get off quick or you'll be dust."

A helicopter approached her, she leapt on to it. "Oh by the way," She tossed him some keys. "You better get going."

Leon looked at the keys with the cute keychain on it, he sighed. At least she did what he wanted to do in the first place. She could have at lest let him ride on the helicopter with her. He pushed away the thought and ran towards the cove he passed on his way up. It lead him to the jet ski that was Ada's. He quickly got on it and speed to safety. He knew now where he was going, and it wasn't home. Not yet at least. Not till he knows for sure Umbrella is gone.

THE END


	8. What Leon Really Meant

What Leon Really Meant

"Why are you-" Leon called out.

"It just makes me feel better, let's just leave it at that." Luis waved.

Leon turned to Ashley, "That's not what I was going to say, I was trying to ask him why he was so sexy…"


	9. The Commercial Ending

The Commercial Ending

Leon aimed and shot the eye last eye on the Saddler crab, Saddler crouched down. It was another opportunity to jump on the crab and stab at the annoying eye sticking out of Saddlers mouth. But before he could, a rocket launcher landed in front of him.

"Here, hot cakes, finish him with this." Ada said from a distance.

Leon grabbed it ran far from Saddler crab and fired. Saddler was finished and Mike's death was avenged.

Ada walked slyly up to Leon's side, "Wow, I was amazed you could even do it."

Leon smiled charmingly, "Well, I couldn't have done it with out this refreshing Coca-Cola _classic_ beverage."

He then took a gulp of the coke he got out of no where, "Oh my Ada, Where'd you get that amazing dress." He said after he was done.

"Thanks for noticing Leon; I got it at the Gap."

Ashley came running up to Leon panting, "I herd an explosion, I was worried, Is everything all right?"

"Sure it is Ashley, but I got this hideous head-ach." Leon said massaging his head.

"Oh here," Said Ada, "I have some Tylenol, now in the fast acting gel caps."

"Thanks Ada," Leon said taking the bottle, "Oh I can't see the directed amount to take, It's too dark."

"You can use my flashlight!" Ashley said, "Oh wait, my batteries are dead…"

"Don't worry Ashley," Leon smiled, "I got my trusty Duracell batteries on me."

"Good thinking Leon." Ada said.

Just then Leon's radio beeped, it was Hunnigan.

"Hunnigan!" Leon said.

"Line's jack free! Leon I have some great news." She said importantly.

"I can go home?"

"No, I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance using Geico."

THE END


	10. After Leon Saved Ashley

After Leon Saved Ashley

Leon swiped the key card through the card reader; he walked into the holding cell that Ashley was in. After walking around the corner he saw the sitting Ashley.

When she saw him she stood up, "Leon!"

"Let's go," He said.

He was facing the window to the cell and the light was pouring all over his face, there was a slight breeze coming in. Then he felt a sharp pain.

"OH MY GOD! MY EYE! MY FUCKING EYE!" Leon screamed, "WHAT IS IT!"

Ashley could barley see what was the matter because Leon was thrashing about the room.

Then she saw it, a big paper air plane sticking out of his right eye, at the end was a print of a kiss.

That could've happened, THE END


	11. When Leon and Ada First Met

When Leon and Ada first met.

"Leon. Long time no see."

"Ada, I thought you were dead!" Leon gasped.

"Oh there are many surprises."

"I know… Talk about surprises, I remember your boobs being **a lot** bigger…"

And… that's it.


	12. My Heart Will Go On Ending

My Heart Will Go On Ending

Leon and Ashley burst out of the cove right before the island exploded. The force from the explosion knocked them both off the Jet Ski before they both crashed into the water. Leon bobbed up to the surface and couldn't see the Jet Ski, or Ashley any where.

"Ashley! Where are ya?" Leon cried out.

Then from behind he heard Ashley gasping for air.

"Leon!"

He swam to her and helped her stay afloat, "Can you tread water?" He asked.

"A little, yeah."

Leon lifted his radio out from under the water; he knew it was too damaged to work.

"Looks like we got to swim back, or at least till we run into a boat. "

"What?"

"Look, sweetheart, the Jet Ski is gone, and we can't float here forever. Now let's go."

Leon started to swim, Ashley followed after.

The rest of their day consisted of them swimming and then floating when they got tired. But that got them nowhere, because in no time it was night and the air got cold.

"Leon, I'm freezing." Ashley complained.

Leon sighed, "I'm sorry, I don't know what to do. We haven't made much progress and I can't see anything to give us hope."

"Leon, are we going to die?"

"I'm sure as hell is not. But maybe you will."

"… What?"

"Hey, I've survived the Zombie outbreak in Raccoon city. And what have you done? Painstakingly took on daddy's American Express card? Ptssh, you don't stand a chance."

"I took care of some of the Spaniard guys too, you know!"

Leon laughed, "By throwing lamps at them! Oh big deal. Try taking on some villages… with chainsaws."

Ashley started crying, "Why are you being so mean to me Leon?"

"Because I am tired, hungry, and would have never been here in the first place if you haven't gone and get yourself kidnapped."

"That wasn't my fault!"

"I could've been a police officer, lounging about, eating donuts." Leon sighed.

Ashley started coughing, "Leon! I'm really cold!"

"Then let's move, it'll keep your self warm."

"I don't think I can, I'm so tired."

"Oh see, now you're going die."

"Leonnnnn!"

Leon sighed and swam next to Ashley, he grabbed her and started to swim.

"I should just leave you." He muttered.

After of while of Leon swimming he noticed Ashley's body getting colder and her breathing getting softer.

"Ashley!"

"Leon.. I am so tired… Just let me sleep." Ashley said as her head lowered a bit.

Leon shook Ashley, "Don't let go! I was kidding about you dying! I wouldn't get paid if you're dead!"

"But Leon…" She mumbled.

"What am I going to tell the president! Oh… Here's your daughter sir… You might notice she's a little dead, But you can look over look that, Right? I knew you were a kind president."

"Oh, Leon. You know that I've loved you ever since I tried to hit you in the head with the stick." She whispered.

Leon shook Ashley some more, "Don't talk like that!"

"Leon do you love me?"

"Do you want me to lie?"

Ashley didn't reply.

"Fine, if saying this keeps you alive, somehow, then yes." Cough, "I love you."

Ashley smiled a little… Then died.

"GODDAMNIT!" Leon screamed.

He let go of Ashley's corpse and watched her body sink till it couldn't be seen.

"Fuck you, you ungrateful little bitch." Leon said as his final words, "You couldn't even wait to die till we got home… At least I would've got paid." He sighed. "I guess it's back to living off of Golden Puffs then."

Leon un-affected by the cold, swam till dawn and that's when he got rescued by some boat. When he got back to America he chose to never tell the president about… Ashley. He was hoping that Hunnigan and the Pres would assume that he was dead. Of course that never happened… Hunnigan found Leon at the local Wal-Mart.

"Okay… Where are the Golden Puffs?" Leon mumbled tapping his chin lightly.

He scanned the cereal section till, "Ah! There they are!"

Leon grabbed the bag and carried it in his arms like a child would carry a stuffed animal. He then turned to leave the aisle to look for milk but then ran into someone with such a force that it made the bag pop, scattering all the little golden puffs of delicious all over the Wal-Mart floor.

"BULLSHIT! I am not cleaning this crap up!" He shouted in anger.

"… Leon?" Said the person he ran into.

"Hunnigan?"

There stood Hunnigan dressed in her fancy suite carrying two loafs of bread.

"Leon, I thought you were dead!" She gasped.

"I, uh, am! I just… Umm, I'm his evil clone and… Wow Hunnigan you look pretty good without your glasses!" Leon laughed out of pure nervousness.

"Shut up. Why didn't you contact me? And where's Ashley?"

Leon rubbed the back of his neck, "Look, babe, we're not married yet and you're already nagging me."

"You killed her! Didn't you?" Hunnigan raised her voice.

"No." Leon paused, "I didn't." He paused again, "The water did."

"THE WATER?"

"Well you see… Uh, it's Ada's fault! She's all, I'm Hot and I walk around in a red dress and… OH! I'm going to make the island explode! And I was like, she really did it! And, um, the only thing she left Me and Ashley to escape with was a little Jet Ski… And we fell off it and Ashley's a puss and got cold and… I guess she died of hypothermia... Or something…"

"Who the hell's Ada? Ah, never mind. Is what you say is true?" Hunnigan sighed.

"Completely, every word."

"Fine, let's report this to the President."

"Nuh-uh, _you_ do it. It's _your_ job." Leon protested.

"Oh like _your_ job, _you_ did so clearly well?"

". . ."

"Let's go."

So Leon and Hunnigan went to go report the mishap to the Pres and Hunnigan promised Leon that "he wouldn't get killed" because… well it really was something he could not help.

The President didn't take the news so well, and fired Leon and made it so that Leon could only be a normal police officer for the rest of his life, But Leon didn't care… This is what he wanted! He moved south and was an officer there… He ate donuts all day and lived a pretty much happy life.

The UNGRATEFUL End


	13. The Trade Ending

The Trade Ending

Leon had just saved Ashley from the church and was running through a tunnel, Ashley was a little disoriented from being kidnapped and locked in a scary room. Leon was the only relief to her, he seemed normal and was extraordinarily handsome. As Ashley followed him she noticed his incredibly sexy back, the sway of his hips and all that gorgeous stuff.

Leon started to slow down, her attention was drawn to this man they approached.

"I've got a selection of good things on sale, stranger." The man bellowed.

"Leon, who is this man?" Ashley whispered.

"This is your new owner."

"…" Ashley had no idea what he was talking about.

"Come here little missy." The man in the black cloak said.

Ashley hid behind Leon's back, "I thought you said you were here to save me…"

Leon smiled as he pushed her to the man, "I did save you, and now I'm selling you."

The scary man grabbed her, "The name's Steve, but you can call me merchant."

Ashley started crying, this couldn't be happening to her!

"Here's the money." The Merchant handed Leon a disclosed amount of money.

"Mochas gracias. Always a pleasure doing business with ya!" Leon waved. Then left.

"Waaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt! Leon…. Help." Ashley whimpered.

The… That was a little dark… End..


	14. Leon Gets a Little Personal

**Leon Gets A Little Personal**

They burst from the tunnel seconds before the island blew into a million little pieces.

"Shit." Leon muttered.

"What is it?" Ashley questioned.

"I forgot my coat."

**The**… what did you expect? …. **End**


	15. Herbs

Herbs

The Spaniards circled the little house that Leon, Luis, and Ashley were taking sanctuary in.

"Ashley, up stairs!" Leon said briskly.

As soon as Ashley was up the stairs, Leon and Luis started firing. The villagers seemed to be coming at every angle and non stop.

"Damn, how many can there be!" Luis shouted.

Leon, after taking a little too many axes to the face, through grenades out of the windows then quickly before they regrouped coved the windows with sturdy bookcases.

"Luis, man, I don't think I can take any more." Leon said as he wiped sweat and blood from his face.

"Here, take this." Luis handed him a green herb.

Leon took and examined it, "What do I do with it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, do I eat it? Or… rub it on my wounds..?"

Luis stood for a moment listening to the sound of the Spaniards banging on the book cases.

"I don't know man, I was hoping you knew. I always see them around… "

"I'll just… rub them on my wounds… I guess. I mean, it would make sense right? Cuz, I spray first aid on them."

"Yeah! Try that!"

Leon then started rubbing the herb all over his body.

"You feel any different?" Luis asked.

"No… not yet." And then it kicked it, "Oh MY GOD IT BURNS!! My eyes!!"

Leon started crying then curled into a ball on the floor.

Luis looked over him, "Maybe you should've eaten it?"

Its amazing Leon doesn't have any scars, The End.


	16. Two Years Later

**2 years later…**

Leon was at his local book store browsing just for the hell of it. You know he can have a life too.

"_The Zombie Survival Guide_… Hmmm.."

"Leon is that you?"

Leon slightly buried his face in the open book.

"OmiGOD Leon! How are you doing!"

"Oh, Hi Ada…"

Ada walked up to him with open arms (wearing the same red dress), quickly Leon stuck out his hand to save himself from a hug. Ada settled for the hand shake.

"Gosh, it's been so long Leon!"

"Yeah, I guess so. Wow the last time I saw you was…" Leon sucked in some air, "Wheeeennn you where going to blow the island up with me on it…"

Ada laughed uncomfortably, "I knew you could get off it in time." She changed the subject, "So do you live around here."

"I sure do."

There a bit of silence.

Ada then stammered, "I'm in-between _missions-_"

"Men." Leon added.

"_Missions _and thought I'd take a break." She shifted a little, " So if you wanted to stop my by my hotel room, maybe I could give you my room key?"

"THAT sounds fantastic, but ah, I have to go to… umm, Europe. You know. Umbrella has started up again… The whole, _zombie thing_…"

"Do you need any help?"

Leon cleared his throat a little, "No, well ah, you remember the last time we were dealing with Umbrella… You kind of… you kind of… Well you died. And I don't want that… to happen again. Or really find out why you're still walking around in that red dress…"

"Okay…"

"But it was really nice seeing you, maybe it'll happen again." Leon put away the book he was holding and headed for the door.

"Awkward…" He sung.

The… Maybe in another 2 years… Ending.

Brooks, Max. The Zombie Survival Guide,

New York: Three Rivers Press, 2003.

A good read.


	17. It's Only a Game

It's Only a Game

Time was up. The scoreboard came up with a laughing sound. Leon groaned, he didn't pass it.

"JESUS!"

"Leon, It's only a game…" Ashley said from the corner she sat in. She was sick of watching Leon play the stupid shooting game.

Leon turned ever so dramatically to face Ashley, "Just a game? Just. A . Game? Do you know how much I wanted the bottle cap with me on it with the rocket launcher?"

Ashley sighed, "A bottle cap, that's what you get… Is a bottle cap?"

"Uh- Did I mention that they come with in-game sound clips? Don't you wanna hear me say, Stand Back!!"

"I just did."

"I mean coming from a bottle cap, it's so wicked!"

Ashley decided that maybe now, was a good time to take a nap.

"Your loss." Said Leon as he continued to play.

Maybe Leon _Does_ Like the Bottle Caps…


	18. She's a Part of Me

**She's A Part of Me Ending**

"Mission accomplished, right Leon?"

"Not yet, I still got to get you home, remember?"

"Say after we get back, you wanna do some overtime?"

"Say What!? Hells No!"

"I thought you say that… It doesn't hurt to ask, you know... So who was that girl back there?"

"Let's just say… She's a part of me I can't let go."

"… What do you mean by that?"

"The bitch stole my watch…"

"… what? You.. and that's it?"

"What were expecting… _I love her!! _ Yesh. Not when she takes my watch, and the sample…"

"You know, just forget it."

**The… **That was pretty lame... ** End…**


	19. Leon Discovers Something New

**Leon Discovers Something New**

After seeing the locals feed one of the policia to a big, giant fish he rushed to the docks to cross the waters. Thinking hey it should be fine, crossing the lake. The big fish already ate so… what the hay?

His walkie talkie beeped.

"What is it Hunnigan?" Leon said a little irritated, "Didn't I just talk to a few minutes ago?"

"I wanted to know what your position was." She replied in her nasally voice.

"Well, if you must know I was just about to jump in a boat and cross a lake in which a horrible monster lurks. "

"Monster?"

"You see this is why I didn't want to talk to you! You wouldn't understand this shit, god. Maybe you should survive a zombieizm, then maybe things would be a little clearer for you!"

"Sorry about that Leo-"

"WHOLEY FUCKING SHIT, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Leon, Leon. Are you okay?"

Little did Hunnigan know that Leon was eaten by the big fish… creature.

The… And that's why you don't stand on the dock for long… End


	20. Can't Touch Leon

Can't Touch Leon

Ada out of the blue walked in to the cavern, "How's it going Leon?"

As soon as he saw her, he felt as if all the blood drained from his face, his muscles tighten. Leon grabbed his head as it started to fuzz up.

"Leon?" Ada said as she put a hand on him.

"Don't touch me SLUT!"

He pushed her away, she crashed into the wall and Leon quickly put his hands around her puny neck. He slowly increased his grip taking away Adas life. Then with squrille like reflexes Ada grabbed her knife and stabbed him in the leg, pushing him to the side quickly.

"Oww, my fucking leg!" Leon was abruptly wakened for his parasite state and felt the immense pain in his leg.

"Sorry Leon, had to stop you." Ada approached.

Leon stuck his hand out, "Stop! Women do not touch me! You did not have to stab me in my fucking thigh!"

"I had to, you would have killed me!"

"SO? You've died before why is this any different? Hmm? God this hurts like hell."

"Leon, I'm sor-" Ada reached her hand out to him.

Leon quickly deflected and started to exit the cavern, "Just don't touch me wench."

After Leon left Ada stood there for a moment.

"That's not how I imaged things would've happened…"


	21. Wrong Parasite

Resident Evil 4 : Hidden Endings

Wrong Parasite

Leon gone through this ordeal with a great pain in his chest, it all begun when he had lost conscious and Saddler and his cronies put the parasites in him. He could feel it getting larger; the pressure it was putting around his lungs was almost unbearable. But Leon's a big man, if anyone could handle it… It would be him. So of course it would bother him to see Ashley two steps ahead of him, skipping. What the hell? She's a pussy! If a ganados so much as brushes against her, she's on the floor crying. So excluding the previous remark of calling her a "pussy" she must be more resilient than he thought. She's had the parasites injected before he came so hers must be in an older stage.

"Leon!" Ashley screamed.

Ahead of Ashley were two very large members of the Los Illuminados, she dunked. Leon, with no sparing bullets shot them in the head.

Ashley stood up and giggled, "Nice job! Tee hee hee hee!"

"Ungh." Leon replied will a weak smile.

Here she is jumping around like there's going to be a tomorrow, and to be honest Leon was a little disgusted. Not at Ashley, but himself because here she was just taking the pain like a brave little soldier. Leon grunted as they moved on further. In the next room, there it was the machine that will take it all away.

"You go first." Leon motioned to Ashley.

She lay down on the seat, feeling like she was at the dentist. Only she wasn't going to get a root canal, but de-parasite herself.

"Leon, is this going to work?"

He started punching random buttons on the screen, "We'll find out won't we?"

That's when he pressed what he thought was the start button. A little laser pointer above Ashley began to buzz, to her right a monitor flicked on showing a x- ray of her chest. You could see the parasite that lay in her chest.

"Owe owe o wow!" Ashley cried as the process finished.

She turned to look at the screen showing that it had finally got rid of the organism.

"Yippy!" She jumped out of her seat.

As Leon and Ashley exchanged places Leon gave Ashley a quick glance that said don't mess this up.

"Alright, I'm ready." He said after getting himself adjusted on the chair.

"That's what your mom said." Ashley quickly remarked.

Leon glared at Ashley.

She raised her hands, "It was a joke, sorry!"

She then pressed the button and the system started. Leon knew something immediatly wrong. One thing it hurt like a bitch and the other thing he still could feel the parasite in his chest.

"Look." Ashley pointed at the screen.

There shown the x-ray to Leon's beautifully sculpted chest, it appeared to have a long tail.

"What is that?" Ashley asked.

"You're asking me? Like I know."

That's when the pressure got worse.

"Uhhhnggg, holy crap. Uh it burns. My god…" He wrapped his arms around himself.

Ashley ran up to him, "Leon! Oh Leon! Are you okay!?"

"ASHLEY!" He grabbed her arm, "Don't ask ME such DUMB questions!"

"I'm sorry Leon I'm just scarred."

He let go of her, "I'm sorry, just for… Auuuhhhhggghhhuuhhhhmmmmm….."

Ashley stepped back as Leon begun to thrash about grunted moaning and just about anything a man could do above crying.

And that's when it happened. There was a loud CRACK as long creature POPPED out of Leon chest. Leon and the newly born creature screamed, the thing showed its bright metallic teeth. It looked alien. It tore from Leon's chest letting him bleed out soon leading to a painful and not soon enough death. Ashley screamed as it ran out of the room. As soon as Ashley saw the last of its long tail disappear, she freaked. Then ran the opposite way. Where she was going? She didn't know, there really wasn't any where she could go with Leon dead, Ashley was pretty much screwed.

The end.

Next time in Resident Evil 4 : Hidden Endings – Saddler, in crab form, faces the fully grown Alien. Who will when?


	22. Leon Seeks Advice

Leon Seeks Advice

"Damn!" Leon hit the console.

He needed reinforcement, pronto. With his radio jacked by Saddler and this receiver is just not getting anything… He felt kind of boned.

Leon let out a breath of air. He told himself, I survived Raccoon City, I can pretty much get out of anything. That's when he got an idea… maybe he can make outside calls? It was worth a try. The time was right. He looked around and found a big boxy governm♠ent issued phone that was connected to the radio equipment and after trial and error he got it to get a line. The first person he called was the base hoping Hunnigan would pick up. That was fruitless… So he called the only other person he could trust. So after a waiting and leaving his name with a few operators he got a hold of her.

"Good afternoon, Leon ."

"Oh! It's great to talk to you Dr. Laura! First I just want you to know, I'm a… I'm a big fan!"

"Yes, anyway what's your question Leon?"

"Right. Uh, Well where should I start…"

"Just ask the question."

"Oh, uh. Well. I came to this er Island to save the Pres… a girl and er, well I lost contact with my uppers and I have a feeling I'm going to need all the help I can get because of this parasite the locals have here… Like when I shoot at them their head om EXPLODES, right, and out pops this THING with blades and eyes and shi- Then I'm thinking that I'm pretty screwed… Then there is this guy… uh we'll call him Bob and he's like after this "vial" AND and… well what's your opinion Dr. Laura?"

The line was silent.

"Did I lose you?" Leon freaked.

After a small pause, "Ah no Leon. I'm still here. I'm just wondering how this PRANK call got through." Leon then could hear frantic whispers on the other side of the line.

"No! Dr. Laura, I wouldn't play you like that! This is real I'm-"

He lost her.

"Damn!" Leon said as he threw the phone down.

The End.

Yes I did go there.


	23. As The Zombie Eats

_As the Zombie Eats_

Last time on, _As the Zombie eats_ we witnessed that not only was Ada Wong pregnant with Leon S. Kennedy's child, she was having a randy affair with Albert Wesker! But Ada was not the only one being unfaithful. All the while Leon was having an intimate relationship with Ashley Graham!! And only to find out that Ashley had previous relations with Krauser but, that was in the past. Little did Ashley know she kept something from that love affair, herpes.

Leon had the afternoon free after telling Ada that he was going to meet up with some old S.T.A.R.S members for Lunch. That lie gave him time to see his dear sweetheart Ashley.

They met up at the usual spot, some cheesy motel right off the interstate. Ashley was already there sitting on the bed when Leon had entered.

"Oh Ashley my love! Have you been waiting long?"

When Ashley stood up to meet him, he wrapped his strong arms around her.

"Leon, I have to tell you something." Ashley said still in his embrace.

Leon pulled away and lifted her chin so that their faces met, "What is it?"

Ashley took a step back. This might have been one of the hardest things she had to do… in her life, telling the person that she had dreamed of meeting since she was a little girl that she gave him a STD.

She sighed, took a deep breath and let it out, "Leon. I have… I have herpes!"

At first it didn't register, "What?" Leon asked in a daze, "I thought you said you were a virgin, that I was your first."

"Leon before I met you, you know that day you saved me… A man came in my room… with full intentions of kidnapping me."

"Krauser…" Leon muttered.

She continued, "But when are eyes met, I felt something I never felt before… A burst of emotion! Then just like that we became two fiery balls of passion!"

"You had sex with Krauser!" Lean burst, "You didn't even know him then!!"

"I know but it was-"

Leon stopped her by getting a tight grip on her shoulders, "You FUCKED Krauser!"

Ashley's eyes swelled with tears, "I know now it was a mistake. Leon I'm sorry. But you killed him. It's over. Please forgive me, it was before you! I had to tell you, now that I know I caught herpes from him… and now you have it!"

Leon let go after Ashley, he started pacing the room. Stopping in front of a wall, he slammed his fist against it, "Do you know what that means… Ashley?"

He paused. Ashley's said nothing but cried.

"That means… Ada has it… How am I supposed to tell her that I was having an affair? And oh, yeah I gave her a STD from it!"

Leon turned towards the door, "She's pregnant Ashley."

He said nothing more than a dirty look and then left.

Meanwhile, Ada was having her own meeting with Wesker. They just got done enjoying the _pleasures_ of each other's company.

Ada lit a cigarette and took a drag, "Honey, do you have to leave your glasses on when we make love?"

Wesker adjusted the dark sunglasses that seem to be super glued to his face, "You know Ada. If I took them off I would lose my 'mysterious' factor."

Ada sighed, "If that's what you think."

They laid there for a moment in silence as Ada quietly smoked her cigarette.

Wesker turned his body toward her, "Ada, will you go with me to Russia?"

Ada laughed, "Russia, why?"

"We can run away together," Wesker sat up, "There we can create a whole new breed of super humans using Plagas technology with the T-Virus!"

"Come on darling, that only spells trouble."

"Your still in love with Leon, aren't you." Wesker sighed.

"Oh god no, Love. He is a good lay… but no. It's something else. Wesker, I'm pregnant. "

"Is it mine?"

Ada put out her cigarette, "I don't know yet."

"You know Ada; I don't care whose it is. I could take care of that babe like it was my own!" Wesker gloated.

"Oh, Wesky!" Ada grabbed Wesker and covered him with kisses.

And it just so happened at that moment Leon walked into the bedroom.

"Ada?"

Wesker and Ada shot up and looked like deer in headlights.

"WESKER?" Leon shouted, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!"

Ada returned to her natural calm state, "Well when to people love each other very much they-"

"Shut up Ada. This whole time I was worried about you, but this makes the news a little bit easier. Ada… I ALSO have been having a relationship with another person… "

"That's _believable_." Ada whispered to Wesker.

"I GOT HERPIES!" He finished.

That shut them up.

"Are you serious?" Ada questioned.

"Yeah, I'm serious! I'm so serious I want a paternity test to see who's the baby's father!" At this moment Leon wished he had his gun the most.

They all looked at one another, feeling the heavy vibe going through the room. What could happen next, none of them knew.

On the next episode of AS THE ZOMBIE EATS, before the paternity test, Wesker ejects into Ada's womb the plagas and the t-virus! If that wasn't heinous enough, Ashley gets hit by a car on her way to work! At the hospital as Leon awaits the news of his dying lover, an old enemy who thought was dead comes to check up on her too.

Love has many trials and tribulations, but can a scorned lover overcome this obstacle?

To Be Continued? … No not really. That's it.


End file.
